(Originally appeared in Sense and Psychotherapy, Fall 2004)
When I was a young woman, I thought nothing of getting into my car and driving across the country alone to a summer job far from everyone I knew. I was so ready for an adventure and eager to meet new people that I wasn’t concerned that I barely had enough money for gas, food, and one night’s lodging along the way.
That was a long time ago, and there are times now when life seems so hectic and stressful that just planning a weekend in the mountains seems too much of a bother. Occasionally now, as I fret and complain about the hassles of shopping, packing and traffic involved in getting away for a couple of days, I wonder what happened to the young woman who so enthusiastically drove over 3000 miles on almost-bald tires. Where did she go?
Yet, once we do pack the car and drive out of the Bay Area, I begin to remember why it’s worth the hassles. As we head east through the Central Valley, I feel my muscles start to relax and I breathe more deeply. I pretend we’re heading out on an adventure and I get a taste of the freedom of a road trip. The further we get from home, the clearer my vision gets. I feel the blinders that I wear in order to make sure groceries get bought, clothes are washed, homework is done and we’re all off to work and school on time, slowly slide back and give me a wider field of vision.
I feel another layer of tension leave my muscles as we escape the freeway for the two-lane roads that wind through the grape vines, orchards and ranches. As we pass through the foothills and weave our way up into the Sierras, I feel as though we enter a different time zone, “Mountain Time” as they call it.
People have stopped asking what we do at the cabin. The answer is so boring: we sleep a lot, eat too much, read and go for walks. We don’t ski, but when there’s enough snow we do make our own toboggan run down the hill behind the cabin, and in the summer, we go swimming. Mostly, we just slow down. I’m never quite sure how it happens, but just being in this environment seems to allow us to reconnect as a family. We seem to talk and laugh and joke more, we come up with new ideas and decide some issues really just don’t deserve all the energy we’ve been giving them.
Although it’s always hard to pack up and leave the cabin, as we head back across the Central Valley and re-enter the world of traffic, deadlines and responsibilities, I am able to more clearly see and appreciate the positive parts of my life. I return home refreshed and approach my work reinvigorated. I know that the trips away not only make me a calmer, more patient wife and mother, but also a better therapist. Even a few short days of removing the clutter from my schedule helps reduce the clutter in my head, and allows me to be more present in all areas of my life.
