(This is an adaptation of an article that originally appeared in the April 2009 edition of Verdadera, a student run publication at Monta Vista High School in Cupertino, CA)
I was thrilled when I received the phone call from the Verdadera staff inviting me to attend their recent meeting. I enjoy working with teens in my private psychotherapy practice and I appreciate any opportunity to spend time learning more about their views, lives, and issues. When I heard that “Racial Identity” was the topic for their next issue, I was even more excited. This issue has intrigued me since I arrived in the Bay Area many years ago. I grew up in an area where “race” meant either white or black and nothing else, so I was amazed when I moved here and encountered so many different ways of perceiving race. My ignorance and curiosity has led me to many different kinds of trainings and experiences. As I speak with more and more people about their racial experiences, I alternate between an uplifting sense of the universality of the human experience, and dismay at the level of ignorance, fear, and intolerance that continues to pervade our society.
As I listened to the submissions, and the student’s discussion of their own personal experiences afterward, I had a number of different impressions. I was not surprised to hear students chaffing against the stereotypes associated with their race, but I was saddened to hear that many of them seemed to view their race as a burden. I was encouraged by the apparent absence of overt racism. However, although it was not unexpected, I was still disappointed to hear of the strong student tendency to self-segregate. I was also interested in what sounded like an echo of what I’ve heard and read concerning the American minority experience, but with a twist. Due to the demographics of Monta Vista, the experiences in the larger world almost seemed turned upside-down at the school; white students’ descriptions of their experiences as the “minority” at the school were almost word for word what people of color often say about their experience in a white-dominated environment.
Sitting there listening to the students read the submissions and the subsequent conversation, something wasn’t clicking for me and as I later tried to make sense of my impressions, it struck me that many of the writers, and the Verdadera staff members seemed to be using “race” and “culture” synonymously. I find this true for most adults as well; the words appear to have become interchangeable. Yet, they actually refer to very different, but related subjects. When scientists speak on this issue, they are adamant that race is really a “social construct”; there is no biological basis for dividing the world’s people into racial groups. Undeniably there are particular physical traits by which we can group people (hair, skin color, shape of eyes and face, etc.), but there are not any fundamental biological distinctions between groups we often refer to as separate “races”. In fact, when we take the time to look more closely, we see more physical differences within these groups than between them. Throughout humankind’s history, we have been on the move, intermingly, blending and adapting to the environment. What clearly does divide us is not some set of biological traits, but sets of behaviors and attitudes that allow us to identify with a particular group or groups, and which we use to distinguish ourselves as different from other groups.
Many of the students’ entries described experiences they felt came as a result of their “race”, but upon closer examination, I would argue that what they were really describing was their culture, ethnic heritage, religion or even class. For instance, many of the students bristled under the highly competitive, hardworking, grade-obsessed “Asian student” stereotype, feeling not only that it did not accurately describe them, but that it left them pigeon-holed into a narrowly defined set of behaviors. Many bemoaned the intense pressure they feel from their Chinese or Indian parents, yet perceived this as a function of their “race”, when in fact it seemed to me more a function of their culture. I wonder for instance, how much this discord with their parents is affected by the students growing up in an “American” culture while their parents are still very much a part of their “native” culture. It seems that what leads any parent (and their teenager) to act in a particular manner has much more to do with their culture than their “race” or ethnicity.
When I refer to “culture” in this context, I am speaking of a wide variety of behaviors, attitudes and thought patterns that together seem to define a particular group. Culture encompasses our language and ethnic heritage, our religious and political beliefs, our customs and rituals, our traditions and celebrations. Our perspectives about education, music, and art are a part of our culture. Our personal, familial, and community history are an integral part of our culture. The food we eat, the clothes we wear, and the sports we participate in are a part of it. It influences the way we hold ourselves, how close we’ll stand to each other, how we speak and who we address first. Our culture is so much a part of who we are that it is only when we come in contact with a different one that we can even begin to see how it has influenced our thinking, feeling, and behaving.
I was deeply saddened by the number of students who seem to feel completely defined by their “race”. To see oneself as so limited by something you have no control over is downright depressing. Whatever we call it; race, culture, ethnicity or something else, it is only one part of who we are as a person, and it doesn’t need to be something that limits us. It is a multifaceted aspect of who we are and the sooner we can see, understand and accept both the positives and negatives of whatever group we’re born into, the sooner we can appreciate who we are as individuals within a group – which is ultimately what we really are anyway. And, as I write this, I’m aware that this is an incredibly American perspective, but as this is the culture in which I have been immersed my entire life, it is difficult for me to believe otherwise. However, without some knowledge of other cultures, I would not even have been aware that my way of thinking about individualism and autonomy is not universal.
Since the meeting with the students, I have found myself thinking a lot about how many of them perceive barriers between the different groups. Many of the writers appeared to be struggling with a sense of isolation and alienation because of seemingly unbridgeable divides. (I think of this as a relatively common experience for adolescents, but then again, maybe this is another example of my “American” cultural perspective.) Both the staff and the writers expressed a desire to be able to mix more freely among the social groups, but held themselves back, and attributed their reticence at least partially to the racial/cultural differences. Some of the staff seemed frustrated by how students say that although they feel comfortable with the different groups, most still seem to hang out only with those of the same group as themselves. What came out more clearly in the discussion than it did in the writings was that it apparently wasn’t just about “race”. For instance, even amongst those with the same ancestral heritage, recent immigrants tended to band together, while students whose families have been here for generations seemed more likely to form their own “clique”. The Verdadera staff had a lot of curiosity about why this occurs and spent a fair amount of time debating this issue.
I also have been wondering why not just the students, but also many adults self-segregate, and so I have been quizzing my friends and colleagues on this subject. Everyone seems to have their own theory, based at least partially upon their own personal experiences. On the most basic level, there’s a fair amount of research indicating that our brains are hardwired to look for similarities and to form categories and classify stimuli. It is normal and natural for us to look for, and gravitate toward, people who “look like us”, a phrase which can have multiple meanings. We tend to find comfort in the familiar. Even when what is familiar is not necessarily pleasing, it is often preferable to the dangers of the unknown. Thus, when we are with others of our own culture/ethnicity/race/class/age/gender/sock-style, there is a certain basic level of safety; we know what to expect, we know the rules without even having to think about them. With people who are “different”, we are forced to think about our actions, we become more conscious of our words, behaviors, attitudes. We don’t want to offend and we don’t want to be judged. Thus, unless we are feeling brave or we are forced to, we usually do not willingly put ourselves in these potentially uncomfortable situations.
As an illustration, let me share what happened the night of the Verdadera meeting. I had neglected to learn the name of the parent adviser, and so when I arrived at her home, I had no idea what “culture” I was walking into. I looked around when one of the student members opened the door, but I did not see any shoes in the foyer, so I left mine on. After I sat down, our hostess came into the dining room and the other students arrived, each stopping to take off their shoes at the door. Well, I felt like an idiot. Unwittingly, I had committed a faux pas! I was afraid that I had offended my hostess. I worried that she would see me as uncouth or even unhygienic. I imagined that the kids would think I was ignorant and rude. Of course, Mrs. C was very gracious and reassured me that many of her “Caucasian guests” leave their shoes on and she was perfectly fine with it.
This seemingly simple little interaction and all that followed in the meeting, reinforced for me the complexities of the issue of cultural/racial identity and everything that is connected with it. The students, like the adults around them, are struggling to make sense of the world around them while maintaining a sense of integrity and compassion. Many see how their parents’ culture differs from their own and are working to integrate sometimes disparate world views as they form their own identities. They want to be seen for who they are as individuals with their own thoughts, opinions, and needs. While it is easy to focus on and remember the negatives associated with the racial stereotypes, many of the students are also clearly very proud of who they are, where they come from and the community they are members of. They do not see their culture/race as a “burden”, but as a gift they have gratefully received.
One final important component that adds to the difficulty in exploring and discussing race and culture is the question of the words we use. While writing this, I struggled with how to phrase my sentences so that my ideas would not be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I didn’t want to use language that was offensive or discriminatory. I tried to stay mindful of how different groups would be affected by the words I chose. In my mind at least, while this discussion may be difficult, due to this being such a highly charged, controversial subject, I believe it is imperative that we continue to discuss racial/cultural differences. We need to stay sensitive to large and small differences, and find ways to talk about them so we can use them to enhance the whole community.
